someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
