you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
