you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
