WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
