i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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