There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
