Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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