We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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