chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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