she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
