New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
