thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
