Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize