im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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