So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
