Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
