he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
