I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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