Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
