Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
