So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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