I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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