i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
