I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
