We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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