normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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