You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Randomize
