i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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