he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
