I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
