Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
