So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
