Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
