theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
