uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm getting married
To pizza
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
