it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
