I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
we're so committed to being not committed
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
