piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
