Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize