You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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