the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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