I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
