I'm jealous of your bromance
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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