it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
