I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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