dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
