some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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