whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize