on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
