lets start a swedish sibling band together
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize