Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
honey bunches of taint.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
