So drunk, too bad you don't want this
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
