i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
