Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
