I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
