Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
