my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
