I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
