how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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