what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize