I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
