I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
