god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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