I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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