I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
