She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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